If operating systems ran airlines (humorous)

[Neal Tovsen <ntovsen@piper.hamline.edu>]

> > >          IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES 
> > 
> > >UNIX Airways 
> > > 
> > >Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come 
> > >to the airport.  They all go out on the runway and put the 
> > >plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what 
> > >kind of plane they are supposed to be building. 
> > > 
> > >Air DOS 
> > > 
> > >Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump 
> > >on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. 
> > >Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ... 
> > > 
> > >Mac Airlines 
> > > 
> > >All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents 
> > >look and act exactly the same.  Every time you ask questions 
> > >about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't 
> > >need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done 
> > >for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up. 
> > > 
> > >Windows Air 
> > > 
> > >The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, 
> > >easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off.  After 
> > >about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning 
> > >whatsoever. 
> > > 
> > >Windows NT Air 
> > > 
> > >Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, 
> > >and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius 
> > >when it explodes. 
> > > 
> > >Linux Air 
> > > 
> > >Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to 
> > >start their own airline.  They build the planes, ticket counters, 
> > >and pave the runways themselves.  They charge a small fee to 
> > >cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download 
> > >and print the ticket yourself.  When you board the plane, you 
> > >are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the 
> > >seat-HOWTO.html.  Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is 
> > >very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without 
> > >a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful.  You try to 
> > >tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but 
> > >all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?" 
> > 
> >